she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If I die, sorry about rent.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
