He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
