dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
