the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
