2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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