Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
