i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
