Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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