its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
