I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
