I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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