have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
