Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
