I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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