I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
