everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just invented taco cereal.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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