If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
