I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
