i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
