he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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