spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
