it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
