I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
