$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
