Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
