Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He passed out mid-signature
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
