the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
