I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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