I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
