I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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