she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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