wat bout pragnant strippers??
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
