i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
