It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
