i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
