"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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