Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
