I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
