I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
