just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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