Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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