Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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