Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
