Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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