so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
