my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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