I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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