you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
