I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
