Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm passing your future prison.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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