I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
