Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
